What to do, what to do? I'm really feeling some type of way about something. I can't get it out of my mind. Its pretty hard to move on when things are unfinished but I guess finished. Its really irritable. I just wanna get out of here!!!

Then my Job was so stressful the last past week, mainly because of the people that I work with.. Lazy, complaining ALL the time smh and just down right GHETTO! Ugh I deal with enough ghettoness at home (lol)
3 people were fired Friday which is unfortunate but it had to be done. And I'm kind of glad because I was tired of picking up the slack of others anyway.


(Hours later)
I've had this post opened up since earlier today but didn't finish so I might as well talk about my day today.

So today workers from others stores came in to fill the void of the fired workers.. I walked in to work and was surprised because this guy I gave a ride a week prior was at the cash register. Now this guy is hella weird and ima tell you why, lol. So about a week ago on Saturday I had to training to go to and different sales associates were there from different stores so I met all of them and we linked up on either twitter/facebook and or BBM. At the end of our training this one guy came over and started talking to me. He seemed cool and he needed a ride home so I offered and we gave him a ride to where he needed to go.. Now that seems fine right? So a day later on his day OFF at his store which is far from mine, he came up to my store just to say thank again for the ride.. Now it was just weird because why would he come to my store thanking me when he did it enough before he got out of the car??? #redflag so now that 3 people are fired at my store and we work in the SAME district he's gonna be working with me for a week or so.

He's up under me All day talking and trying to get to know me and it's like uhh.. I'm not letting you into my life lol. Hella weird going on about wanting to take me to a bar, offering me his cigarettes *for the record my lungs are CLEAN* being nice but irritating at the same time. I'm pretty sweet and I listen to him but it's like DUDE! Why are you here? lol i give you a ride, then you come randomly visit me, THEN you're working where I work it's just too much of a small world.

It's crazy that when you re single you get little to no attention but when you're in a relationship dudes come from out of the wood works trying their hand.. it's to often that dudes flirt with me nowadays.. Like whoa playa get back. Now I have to work with one.. But I have a Job and this is what I wanted so ill be okay. :)

Until next time, later!

Good girls get h*rny too.

I'm having a GOOD time with YOU! Ever just been able to express every sexual feeling you've ever had with someone? It's the greatest feeling beside (#pause it's lightening and thundering really hard out) giving yourself an orgasm. LOVE plays a big part too. BUT umm, having that one person in your life fulfill every fantasy and go above and beyond to get you past your peck is absolutely FANTASTIC! and guess what? I gots me a man like that! *blows fingernails* hehe.. sometimes its hard holding it all together because we set goals in this relationship, BUT having someone that ooze sexiness and sex appeal is tough to not want to jump all over, on top of him being hard. lol.. let me stop. But ladies understand. Never have i ever been a whore, well let me take that back because I get kind of nasty when the time is right. I like what I like and it takes a grown ass man to be able to understand what I need, and he does. Going on 24 and is an all around beast. Plus he always make sure I'm good in all aspects of my life +++. *Sings: Oh me oh my body like a monsta* lol. Finally feel like I matter, and with that I'm finally able have selfless love. I can give without receiving and I love to please. I'm not constantly sad or trapped into this. I want this, him, us! Shoot who wouldn't.. Being totally open with one person is wayyyy better then sowing your royal oats or however you say it. What I'm saying is that you guys need to get you some of what i've got! it's only right. That type of iish that makes you wanna brag about it. I never fully kiss and tell though. lol

Toodles..

Le sigh..

Umm, I really dont know how to feel right now. *rolls eyes* I'm happy but someone else isn't.. I just really wish I could have this day and you be happy for me and with me. Got a lot of love from my fam and friends but you're really what matters most right now.. I understand what youre going thru of course because ive been there.. But DANGIT! What about me? I kind of feel like you dont want me around. I dont want to bost but im excited.. I just wont say anything about me anymore.. For you to be happy.

#Blessed

So happy and thankful right now. But I guess I'll have to be happy for myself.. About 30mins ago I got the call that I've been waiting for, for weeks! I got the Job at Radio Shack but it was a long process that I had to go thru first before being able to start working. That's what the call was about ^_^ I start working on Thursday and I'm so excited, but more relieved then anything. This is the break that I've been needing/wanting. This is the something new that I was talking about. *sighs* I'm proud of myself. I honestly never give myself enough credit. I knew that once I started being true to myself that things would all fall into place. I'm so grateful and thankful for everything that's going on in my life right now. Momma always said that trouble don't last always and she was right. Now I gotta go tell my friends so they can be extra happy with me :) Swear ill be the best Radio Shack employee ever. Haha :)

A lot on my mind

As a young woman you want security in your relationship. You want to know how much your man loves you in detail. I always feel defeated when i ask the question Why and or how much do you love me? I don't want to have to ask thousands of questions after that simple question :-/ and i feel like i constantly do. It's not that i don't believe the love that he has for me but I want to know. When I love, I love hard. I always make sure that he's aware of how i feel when I'm feeling any type of way. It relieves all doubt even if there isn't any. Maybe it's just a woman type of thing.. We want to spoil our men and let them know that "Hey, you're the one for me and I'll love you through anything, always and forever". All the time. Yes, All the time. It should be second nature. It's one thing to know and another to want to hear reasons why. I can recall being in relationship where I didn't understand what love was.. I couldn't answer the question "Why do you love me?" without mentioning things that didn't matter to him at all. What his interest were, what he aspired to be in life and things of that nature. Not because I didn't care but I just wasn't in the mindset to remember those things. Now that I have a genuine love I know just about all that I need to know about you. I love you. You are my heart. I've never had a love like the love you give me and it is in it's purist form. I just want what I give in return. I want it to happen willingly, Because you want to express why it is that you love me. I smile and get all extra bubbly inside when I think of you. And that's it! You know where your heart is when your mind wonders. Not a day goes by that I'm not thinking of you. I can honestly say that I know your heart. I know you love me with everything that you have. I don't doubt that. I just need to know why without me having to ask..

Luam Ne-Yo Submission

Love this vid. :)

Hiyah!

Hey anons (The random ppl reading my blog) :)
I'm sitting Indian style on my bed with the laptop my lap of course, eating white cheddar pop corn.. The death of braces -_- But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I just came back from a pretty awesome vacation and I'm excited! Wanna know why? Because if it's in God's will I'll be working at Radio Shack! :D Now before I went on vacation, I had an interview on a Wednesday and my vacay started on Friday.. I was a little sceptical about the interview because The guy was like "Why should I pick you out of the other 50 people that I've interviewed today"? I said something like; because I'm dedicated, trust worthy, responsible and I simply get the job done and I staired him dead in his eyes as he smiled and said I really think I'm the best girl for this job, I wont disappoint you. sn: He was weird and African and extra excited and extra weird but the interview was fun nonetheless lol. He shook my hand and told me that I'd be receiving a call on Friday for further information on the status of my employment. The same Friday i boarded the Amtrak train at 10:30ish lol I got the call but it was a missed call -_-. So I checked my voicemail and it was 1 new message but i couldn't hear it because i was in a bad signal area ;-( I heard bits and pieces of the message but i didn't understand what it was saying. I was on a verge of having a temper tantrum because i just couldn't lose this opportunity. Somehow the message was deleted *I was finished* I instantly came to the conclusion that I passed the first interview. But I didn't know who to call? I called Larry the manager of the Radio Shack in Forest ville but he was switched to a different store. I received the number to the store that he was at and he told me that i passed the interview and that i was to call the radio shack at Penn Station.. At this point i was like What The Heck! They were giving me the run around lol, I'm like Lord please provide me with this opportunity because you know what i need. So I call and ask for "Tony the manager" and I explain to him that I'm on the Amtrak train on my way out of town for a so called "Family emergency" and he tells me to take the time that i need and call him when I get back.


One week goes by..

I call scared that someone else who was available took my spot but those worries quickly came to an end :) All i need now is a background check and the job is mine <3 I'm so blessed and highly favored. All thanks goes to the man above.

I'm excited because this is the break I've been needing a JOB.

:)

on the Amtrak Train home.

On my way back home from vacation. 7 days of stress relief and FUN. Had a blast with one missing piece to the puzzle tho. Our time will come. :) I love you.

I LOVE & Miss YOU! YES YOU!

Britney Spears - Till The World Ends

This video gets me so hype! I jump up and down and head bang.. lol I adore Britney <3

....it is embedded in me to always try to make every situation better. Both helpful and harmful....:):(

Pondering..

Watching Toy Story 3 feeling some type of way.. :( I always think what if..

my heart's beating fast.

Lawd hammercy..

No matter what I do, I ALWAYS find you (or run into you).. LOL it's crazy because I'm just browsing tumblr and there you are.. The name seems familiar because You Use The SAME Name for EVERYTHING LOL and i'm like *hovers my mouse over your name and clicks* and BAM! It never fails.. Good to see that you're doing okay :) I could use a good laugh every now and again. I didnt follow tho.. Maybe in the near future.

God, I just broke down again.

I'm good now.. Being by myself isn't bad, summertime is around the corner and I can focus on building myself up. I've realized that I've tried to bulid too many people up and I'm worthy of those things myself. ;) sometimes you gotta smile to keep from crying. But I'm a water bag boo hoo hooooo. But Gods got my back. Blessed and favored.

These quotes have so much to do with my life right now.

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."


- Pope John XXIII


"I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying
the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.People who fail to achieve their goals usually get stopped by frustration. They allow frustration to keep them from taking the necessary actions that would support them in achieving their desire. You get through this roadblock by plowing through frustration, taking each setback as feedback you can learn from, and pushing ahead. I doubt you'll find many successful people who have not experienced this. All successful people learn that success is buried on the other side of frustration."


- Tony Robbins


"The most sacred place dwells within our heart, where dreams are born and secrets
sleep, a mystical refuge of darkness and light, fear and conquest, adventure and
discovery, challenge and transformation. Our heart speaks for our soul every moment
while we are alive. Listen... as the whispering beat repeats: be...gin, be...gin,
be...gin. It's really that simple. Just begin... again."

- Royce Addington

All over the place..

I always wonder if God looks down on me and thinks that I'm a failure beings that I've done more wrong then right in my 20 years of life. I've went around feeling bad for myself all the time. Not being able to talk to people about my feelings and then when I finally find the man of my dreams I go and mess things up.. With him thinking that everything that he's ever done was wrong when it wasn't.. How can you explain to one how sorry you are for hurting them for so long? from my experience you can't. They don't hear you when they're hurt, all they feel is pain. I wish pain was like a door that I could break through to explain to you how special you are to me, yourself and the world. You taught me things that i didn't know and things that I had no knowledge of. With you it was the little stuff that mattered. Times where I felt like I couldnt go on with my own life and you were there for me. I couldnt sleep without you but on some occasions I had too because of what ever the circumstances were at that time. What im saying is.. You're nothing short of Amazing. Don't sell yourself short, you have to be the one to believe that you are worthy of something great. If while with me you learned nothing just know that I Love You and I've always tried to lift you up and make you happy. I suffer everyday knowing that I was the one who bruised you for life. I dearly cherished the time, heart, soul and effort you put into me. You live in my heart, I continue to breathe because of God and second you. You were my blessing. my everything and still to this day I love you with all of my heart..

Love, Brittany..

Heavenly Father

With you I put all my trust, nothing can keep me from you. Prayer always works. I thank you for everything you've ever given me. You continue to bless me and I promise I won't complain anymore.