Too much Lasgna -_-

So I'm on the toilet and I'm having some troubles...
I was suffering the same time last year.
Come on Brit. Let's not make this a habbit, OMG!

WWE Nation!

So I'm like Wrestling fanatic now, and that man up above is my FAVORITE wrestler. It took for me to go to the WWE show September 6th to make me realize what I was missing out on! I had an AMAZING time. Definitely one of the BEST moments in my life. The lights, cameras, fireworks and most of all the Wrestlers! When John Cena Came out I was Screaming and singing along to his theme song! 19yrs old at the time and I swear I felt like his BIGGEST fan in the mist of like thousands of other Cena fans! I felt like he connected with me, LOL. Had on my Cena Hat and my Cena "You can't see me big hand". Jumping up and down more then the little kid beside me. I was really in touch with my inner child that night. For all of these years, THIS is what my Dad, brother, cousin and uncles LOVED to watch! I just blew it off, but all the while the Rock was still my father and Trish Stratus was my Mother lol. Hahahaha... Those were the days. Any who here are some other wrestlers that I use to like...



LEGENDS! Edge & Christian "Both were reunited at the Slammy Awards last night, I was happy!" The Dudley boyz "My uncle loved these guys lol, they were two of my favs too". The Hardy Boyz "I mean I loved these two They were tag team killers" ha.




This guy right here... Wade Beret.. I CAN'T STAND HIM! He's the reason Cena had to join the nexus, the reason Cena got fired and the reason I've been miserable since September. He has done nothing but order his Buffoonery group of tards around trying to destroy the Cenation and the WWE nation. I have no reapect for him. Argh!!! LOL Since Cena got rehired last night I'm HAPPY! ALL THINGS ARE BACK WERE THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE! MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


December 30th I will be at the show, downtown at the verizon center with my purple and yellow shirt! Screaming "You can't see me! My time is NOW!" :o) -rubs hands together- that is all..

Phill Wade & Friends vol.1

Don't mean to overload you with post today but this is a MUST!
@MrPhillWade's Mixtape came out today! I was excited because of course I've been a fan of his since his first youtube video "Best trey songz impersonation EVER!"
Go to his website: www.phillwade.com and Download this magical soundtrack to a lot of peoples lives :)





ps. I will dance to "Party Line" at my wedding recepetion. :o)
I got the dance moves down pact.

OK. I adore Brandy not really Terrence, my first boyfriend looked exactly like him and ugh.. x_x

Nonetheless, lol. Rumors are that these too might be coupling up. I'm excited for B-Rocker. Love is a beautiful thing ^_^. Or should I say potential love?!? Yes.

My love boat should set sail in January, I cant wait. :)
Cant wait to be with you darling....

School shall be great!
Hahahahaha, yall though I was talking about a man.
Wrong!
Love messing with yall. :)

I'm amused.

You being spiteful isn't doing anything but hurting you.
Just follow your heart.

Haha.
This is a mess.
Wonder why maturity is in question.
O.o

This isn't about you, it never was.

It's more to me then just the moans you here on the other side of the phone.
Or how I whisper nasty little nothings in ya hear.
And you're like: Oh Damn she has nothing to fear.
You're sexy, you PHAT or When you gonna let me hit that.
Is what I heard All the time, but As i often said:
Oh nah dude I'm not that type of girl.
I'm spoken for or I.. USE to be...
Just because a girl is single doesn't mean shes ready to jump out and Mingle.
So who are you be so judgemental of my life?
You don't know me, Son! (in my fake BK accent)
Bet you didn't know that I aspire to be a Dentist or maybe even a Brain Sergent or some iish like that, haha
Maybe I'm too young to make my own decisions?!?
Hmm, I am 20
But you like to take control of me like I'm Hmm (index finger to chin)
16?
Yea that.
See, when I was 16 I didn't have a care in the world.
My only focus was Graduation.
But your focus was sexing some hot Lil honey on the third floor of Laws Hall..
Obviously your judgement of me was right!
I wasn't hot in the ass, but i was/AM Bad to the bone!
You couldn't take me being Innocent as much as you tried to front on me.
You wanted me.
You had me, but I wasn't up to par as far as satisfying your needs.
ALL BULLSHIT!
I wasn't everything you wanted.
You were ALL I needed.
or I thought.
That thought process wasn't long enough, so I blame myself.
I don't blame you. Nah.
It's My fault.
Because I never liked you for you.
I liked who I thought you had potiental to be.
You're boring.
Don't know how we spent so much time together...
Maybe because you seemed to be very clever???
IDK. This boggles my mind.
Lessons were learnt.
These feelings are burnt.
So dont come around here peeping through my window..
I dont wanna see you no mo'.
Best of wishes.
My time was wasted.
So, on to your REPLACEMENT!
This isnt about you, it never was.

Truth!

Rose

A flower is a flower, but a rose, a rose is a beauty of a completely different sort.

In a small carriage outside of a little town named Bridges a prostitute delivers a 7 pound 8 ounce baby girl at 3:34 p.m., her father, unknown, Rose. Rose lived in a foster home for the first 13 years of her life, a quiet child, peaceful and somewhat numb to the world. I remember the first time I ever met that girl; I was about 19 at the time. She said I was her only friend in the whole world. Looking back on it I guess she gave me too much credit. My father, James Howard Sr., owned the foster home that Rose lived in. She called me Jimmy boy and I called her pretty Rose. She never really talked to anyone but me, and the animals of course. Boy did Rose love critters and creatures, no matter how ugly they came.

On Rose’s 13th birthday I took her to the little lake right outside of our hometown, Bridges, and boy did she love it. We ran back and forth and jumped into the deep end forgetting all essence of time. I looked over at my watch that she had laid on the ground so majestically. It had turned 8 o’clock already, supper was at 7:30, Papa was gonna be mad at us. She asked me where her gift was, I had told her all day I had a secret gift I would give her. She asked for it maybe about every 30 minutes, and I always said “Later Rose”. Later had come, I said close your eyes, as I peered at her beautiful face through the cold nights air. Then I kissed her, time had stopped for a few seconds. Then she fell, passed out on the ground. She laid there like some sort of log on the mud.

Rose! I screamed, are you okay? But she didn’t answer; I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. I remembered a few of my friends were meeting at the Midtown Bar in town, I ran there so I’d have an alibi. I got in just after 10, I knew Papa would be mad I was out with my friends so late, but it would be better than knowing I killed Rose. I walked in expecting to get chewed out for about ten minutes, and then I’d just go to sleep. Tomorrow they’d be looking for Rose, and you wouldn’t believe how often kids go missing at a foster home. I went to the living room, that’s usually where Papa was at this time, smoking his pipe and reading a good scary story to the kids that couldn’t sleep. Sitting there amongst the crowd of parentless owls was Rose. Fresh out of her shower like she always was at this time of night, listening to the story.

I couldn’t believe it; I ran upstairs and awaited her to go to her room. Her room was only three doors down from mine, so I could peek out my door from the foot of my bed and see everything in the hallway. Like a ghost she slowly walked up the creaking old steps, remnant from old Victorian wood. Sometimes I joked that this house with eight bedrooms and just two bathrooms was as old as Papa, he was pretty old in fact. I called to her, Rose, I’m sorry if my gift was wrong to give. She walked to me hugged me within an inch of my life and whispered a lifetime of wisdom into my young ears. Dear child, through your kiss I have seen the sins of this world, past and future. Tonight shall be my last here, I am needed. I asked her where she was needed, and she replied everywhere. That would be the last time I saw rose for almost twenty years.

One autumn day I sat in my bar, the Midtown Bar. I had won it from old man Middleton in a card game a few years back. I plopped on a rusty old seat and watched the day pass me; this town sure had changed in its ways. In a way its innocence had been stripped of it, the town was filled with sinners and blasphemy from alley to courtyard. On my daily stop past the foster home, as I normally did to see Papa and take the kids some treats. I saw her, Rose, just as beautiful as she had been when she left. The beauty had returned to Bridges to see her old home, and visit Papa. She sat and told me of her travels and the friends she had picked up over the years. She seemed to be changed; her tales weren’t of the Rose I left for dead that day. She had returned a woman, full and without repent. Coffee and muffins, her favorite. We sat up for most of the night reminiscing upon days past, until the suns rising. I had fallen asleep before her, just as I always did, and when I opened my eyes she was gone.

I searched the house, high and low in need of seeing her face. I knew the night before could not be the end of it all, she hadn’t slipped away from me once more. I walked to the door, ready to return to my empty home, and begin my day anew. Saddened I walked with a knock in my step, and my arms simply being pulled by my body. My head hung low and eyes almost completely closed, trying my hardest not to cry. Down the last step, facing the garden, I saw her. I ran to her kneeling body, steadily at work, planting. She said she thought the home needed a little more beauty to it. Me in my corny ways, saying; your all the beauty this place needs. She politely smiled and ignored it, but I didn’t hesitate to compliment her more. Like a child in need of affection, I simply wanted her to announce her love for me, as I kept mine so loudly secretive.

She told me at the end the week her garden would be full and life would be pulled from this home. I asked why she had become so mournful of the world and bleak to any emotion shown. Once more she smiled, walking back into the house to wash up, and ignored every word I said. Later that night we sat up, coffee and muffins like always. I thought to myself why, after all these years and all these changes, she still loved coffee and muffins. But, before I was allowed to utter my thoughts, she told me why. She said I love things, materials and objects, maintained by man and created by God. Muffins and coffee, so natural of the earth, yet needed to be nurtured by the hands of life to be at its perfection. Coffee bitter and brute, just as the world was and just as it would always be. Then she said she liked muffins because they were ugly cupcakes.

I could see she had recognized herself as an ugly cupcake, yet I thought she was the most gorgeous muffin that the world had ever been allowed to consummate. I finally got around to asking her why she had left that night, and what my kiss meant to her. She went on for hours, talking of time and of the peacefulness end that is death. She said she had died that night by the little lake, and a woman had been born. My kiss was an act of sin, one that she could never reverse. I had acted as the apple of knowledge; in turn it was my own fault for losing my one true love. She told me that she had attempted to find love many times before. Yet none could erase the pain and pleasure of my kiss. She met a fisherman named John; she said he reminded her of me the most. So eager in love yet, knowing not of the causes behind it.

He would be at sea for weeks at a time and his only request upon returning, was a kiss. She quickly realized the commotion behind her lips caress. No more than a week after her kissing him for the first time, John had died at sea. He and his crew had all been toppled by a monster wave, yet his body was the only one never found. With jealous eyes I ignored the details she expressed to me, only hearing that she had kissed another. Desperate to hear more, I sat and listened with baited breath. She told me next of a French man named Alexander, she admitted him to be her favorite lover. The French, how wondrous they were with the human body. Her fear of his death disallowed him to ever kiss her, no matter how hard he tried.

One night he walked home drunk, as he often did, and she hated it. When drunk he seemed to be a man of different sorts. Not a lover or a passionate write but a demon so horny and angry. He asked of her body, she refused just as any woman would in times like that. But, her no’s wouldn’t go without test and triumph. Rape became the game; I sat there unable to find the slick words I normally could. He threw himself over her body, pressing her on the bed and ripping her clothes free. He released her arms, still pinning her down. She tried to fight him but her strength would not allow for it. He started with a kiss, and unlike his fantasies, it was also where he finished. He had died of some heart disease that wouldn’t be discovered for forty more years. I wanted to hug her, knowing that she truly did see the sins of the world. I guess this little town was her haven, where she felt the most at home. Luke and Arthur were after the drunken Frenchmen, twins; she fell in love with the two by accident. Con artists, they believed Rose to have come from money, as her beauty often eluded.

Their fates had been just as the other two, a house fire consumed their souls. Lastly, before her storied became unbearable, she told me about Marcus. A wealthy young man, who in all his trials could never get Rose to open up, She admitted all though she loved them each for different reasons, she loved him for the things he would buy her. Roses daily, and the finest chocolates, he spoiled her. She finally allowed him into her heart, something she regretted so, for he was nothing more than pain. His death was on a plane to visit her. Everyone survived but him; it was strange how her kisses worked. I said enough, I no longer wanted to hear of her failures, I wanted to be her life’s success. Over the next seven days I walked outside noticing the ground budding with fresh Roses, and her glory being realized. Papa had been sick for a while, and she had told me days earlier of a death.

On the seventh day we woke early and cooked breakfast for Papa, and went up to his room to give it to him. She seemed more distant than usual today, I knew the death was soon to come. At the tip of the door I stopped, and put his food on the stand in the hallway. I asked her if his death would be quick, and she asked who, with a face so oblivious. I said Papa, is he going to suffer, or will he die without pain. She shed a single tear, and told me that he wouldn’t be the one to die. That day by the lake, she had seen the sins of her future love, all the men who would die for loving her. Then the one she would be willing to die for. I smiled, knowing that she would die for me, and I felt the same way for her. Yet, her tears were not of joy, but of final sorrow. She had met a man she loved with all her heart, and wanted to bare child with. Sadly he wasn’t her Jimmy boy, and she wasn’t my pretty Rose anymore. Her vision that day told her of her lovers fates, and all those who would die before her bodies essence. Men proud to die for this woman they had fallen for, whether they wanted to or not. At that point I realized I was simply another number.

She told me for this lovers curse to end she would have to kiss me one final time, and then it would all be over. Do I allow the one I love to live for another while I die for her? What is life alone, her and I, which is what we would be after all? I, unable to be with her and her unable to ever truly be with the one she loved. I asked, as inquisitive as always, did you see happiness in your future. She said yes, with two children and eternal love. Without any further word I rushed to the kiss, one I had been longing for and one she had also. I realized it was her love for me all those years ago that had driven her away. She knew that I would always love her, and running away would keep me alive. I lived a life of many lovers and even more friends, but only one Rose. I gave Papa his breakfast like I planned and sat on the porch in my rocking chair watching the beautiful roses blow in the breeze. I sat and sat and fell asleep, a slumber in which I would never awaken. While Rose was free to go and love another, with a garden of beauty.

You must always remember a rose is a rose, and a flower is a flower. Roses maintain beauty and grace even upon deaths coldest breath, that is a rose, and so was she.

Fuck Yeah Conan O'brien

I adore this guy, LOL.

ooh yeah? I could never hate you buddy.

Being able to start over feels good *Tom Cruise hooyah*. I'll no longer settle for anything less then what I am. I've realized that it's so many people in this world that love me for ME! I deserve the Best and thats what I'm getting. Shout out to my past because without you, my futrue wouldnt look as bright as it does. #Noshade

Just tired, smh.

I dont know you anymore. You've become a monster in plain sight. My feeings arent a game and niether are my actions

better luck next time .

I don't know. but the man up above does..

disliking you could be so easy...

and sometimes my mouth forms the word hate but the word l o v e quickly forms afterwards.. i use the color lite blue because when thinking of love, something heavenly comes to mind. that heavenly thing is you! (would have used caps but my phone wont let me) love youve never failed me before. but youve put me through trails that werent so good but still ive made it through. everytime i use the word love i mean it. so im counting on you love to see me through... guide me in the right direction.

i trust you.

I don't remember feeling like this... BABY

I never knew another human life, could have the power to take over mine. -Ashanti

I love it when I hear your name, got me saying

BABY BABY BABY BABY BABYYY!

(Baby, I love you)

Throw back movie.

Watching Dr. Giggles. this movie still freaks me out.

looking up to the stars

up again at 5am. I miss you like crazy. i hate to be up this early by myself.. :( suddenly sad.

Quotes

If it must be trouble, let it be in my day. So that my child can have peace - Thomas Payne

insomnia rap/poem.

As sleepy as a bear in the winter time..

I'll curl up like a ball and try to exit this light.

Night. Well, mawnin'.

Its about to be the crack of dawn and..

Im not even sure what to say.

I guess i'll just make the best of what comes today.

paha.. idk restlessness is slowly going away.

suddenly weak/sleepy and teary eyed.

peace and €blessings beautiful people.

4:30 am ramble gamble

up in the weeeee hours of the morning..

eyes low, mentally tired but physically amped.

sitting in indian style on my bed playing "Word Mole".

Beat about five levels but havent gotten past that yet..

I have some type of problem, which ive been aware of for a while.

Not sure exactly what it is but, i need to get pass this.

I've been contemplating enlisting in the miliarty but, thats a no go.

Too many ppl out here that i care for and I could'nt just leave.

commuting back and forth to school isnt gonna happen anymore.

I'm going further away to complete my college education.

it'll be for the best. i get to get away from my mother.

days like this makes me miss my dad.

like, even though he wasnt the father i needed, i would pretend and say little things like..

"Shoot, im going to stay with my father and you dont have to worry about me anymore".

so much for wishing huh? that would have never happened if my life depended on it.

it still made me feel better though.

I have so much to do, in what I feel like I dont have enough time to do it.

Here i go rambling on. After all these years i still dont know how to explain myself.

Shame on me, ha.

Anywho, this torch has a crampy little keyboard and typing too long on here has me throwing up gang signs. LOL

wont say goodnight but peace €€€and blessings.

Instantly irritated..

Uggh, But back to my enjoyable mood.




Dances to the music!

OMG!

Take a gander at who this is..



Craig David!

Yassssssssssssssssssssssss! I said the samething you're probably thinking. Who is this heavenly man? I was in awe because he looks completely different. But still a good look. :o)

'bout to download some of his music right now.

Sings: I took her for a drink on Tuesday.. We were making love by Wednesday. & on Thursday & Friday & Saturday & chilled on Sunday. lol

October 5th!

Happy Birthday MEDEA!

Aww, my big sisters bday is today! :o). She's 32 and I love her.
It's been almost two years since ive meet you and I feel like i've known you for a lifetime. Couldnt ask for a better second sister. I know Dad is looking down on us and is proud to have two Beautiful Daughters :o). I Love you Lady Bug :o). i'll be 20 a month from now :o)

Quotes

makes so much since: .. Bad companions corrupt good morals ..

hehe

Dang den.. Lol fun times :o)

fridayyy.

Its FRIDAYYYY. :o)
My sleep was refreshing
Big baby likes to argue with me, but I always get mad first.
.aint my fault I have soft feelings.
I admit I can throw low blows but gah lee.
He called me miss double standard, smh.
But when you mad anything happens
I'm sorry my little pweny handsome face doll. Lol

if you really knew me.

Realized a lot last night after watching "If you really knew me". I set back and reflected with Pooh last night and cried. Its so much pain I have deep within me, that I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I'm gonna be stuck here forever. Noah, I finally feel what you feel. In so many ways I can relate because it was so much that you wanted to do but your dad held you back. Now I'm in the same boat. Ill be 20 soon and I refuse to let my family hold me back any longer. I hope all is well with you and your family, still. And I pray for you often.

Ps. You never actually know what ppl are going through until you're up next to go through simular or possibly the same Situation.

Rockin' Out!

"You make me nervous, nervous, nervous." ♥ Hella Nervous; Gravy Train.

in the mood to sing

And I don't wanna boreeeeeeee you with, my troublessssss. (Skips part) You know I love you, I love you, I love youuuuuu.

Yesssss!!!

My Mommy is HOME! Now it's time for me to gooooo, lol. I've missed her terribly. She pulled through. Better than EVER now. Although I can stick my foot in her Cut. Eek! I Love Herrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Oh she came home Monday, BTW.

Feeling this!!!

I've subcribed to this channel on Youtube and fell inlove with this artiste singing/poetry. He's very talented, inspiring even though he's free styling, lol. I can dig this. Real soothing. Check this OUT!



@phillWade_

What does it mean to "Act White?"

I was on like a six way call and Terrence asked me a question and everybody gave their answer.. typical convo from my friends.. lol gotta love them.. :o) Told them id love to blog everyones answer so here they are, in a nut shell. (Not even sure if I use that right), LOL. Whatever..

Terrence: Brit, let me ask you. What does it mean to "Act White?"

Me: It's no such thing..

Terrence: I agree with you but according to members of our own community. There are people who act white.

Me: Thats ignorance.. Just because some ppl arent all LOUD and Ghetto and or are from the hood doesnt mean that ppl who speak proper act white.. Some say my voice is super light and that I dress white but I'm clearly African American. I just have my own style.. ignorance i tell you..

Terrence: I know. What if I was good at math would they say "I'm acting Asian?" People need to wake up.

Me: LOL True.

Terrence: Disclaimer: I SUCK AT MATH!

Tonya: I hear it all the time... It's so sad that our people limit themselves to recognizing proper english,professionalism,good behavior and concrete life goals... If these things make me white then I'm happy..

Me: (Butting in) Yessssssssss! youre right T.

Marcus: I've learned that from a sociological perspective, there IS such a thing as "acting white." "Acting white" is internalizing Eurocentric standards of behavior, dress, and culture and holding these things as the standard to which every other variation is measured.

Francis: It's a racist and idiotic statement...there is no such thing!

Nicole: it means to act either like their stereotype of a white person (i.e. if you can't dance you are acting white) or completely different from their idea of how a black person "should" act (i.e. if you are vegetarian you are acting white)

Well thats the jist of it.. What do you think? Ask youre friends and see what they say..

It Never Rains In Southern California

I'm currently DIGGING this song! It came out the year I was born but i'm so into it :D It never rains in Southern California!!! lol owwww

sn: Raphael Saadiq is super duper HOT!








I haven't seen your face in a year
I can't wait till I get there
Just to kiss and squeeze and hug
Girl you know the rest 'cause they tell me

It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California

Maybe I'll take the flight out tonight
and you can pick me up about 8
I don't know what airline girl
but I know it won't be late 'cause they tell me

It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California

Now I can't sleep at night
without your 8 x 10 by my side
that day will come
for us to be together
I'm not worried 'bout a thing
not even stormy weather...

Oh it may be cold on the east coast
but on the other side of town it never rains...

We have so much to talk about
a lot a catchin' up to do
I'll bring the diamond girl
because I'm so into you
cause they tell me...

It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California

Now since I'll be here at your place
lets take a weeks trip for two
We don't have to go to far
just as long as I'm with you
'cause they tell me...

It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California

Can we just be alone
without those other strangers
calling your phone
now I don't want to be
that selfish kind of guy
but tonight let me take you
on a natural high

just me and you alone

Now it may be cold on the east coast
but on the other side of town it never rains...

Now it may be cold on the east coast
but on the other side of town it never rains...

It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California

Now it may be cold on the east coast
but on the other side of town it never rains...

Now it may be cold on the east coast
but on the other side of town it never rains...

It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California
It never rains in southern California

Off the Dome..

close your eyes and cover them with your hands tight.

now think with all of your might.

open your eyes and chase away the darkness with your light.

who do you see?

with their hand reaching down.

who do you hear?

with their voice full of love, wisdom and clear sound.

who could it be?

with one look makes your body fill with warmth and your heart pound.

is it her?

is it him?

close your eyes and tightly cover them.

without a thought, open your eyes and grin.

when you see their face and hear their voice again.

these emotions mean your in love, my friend.


Dreams really speak volumes to me..

Stressing, horribly..

Not doing good at all. Moms been in the hospital for 12 WHOLE DAYS! PLus she had a second surgery if I haven't already mentioned.. Shes delusional and it scares me. From monday 'til wednesday she had tubes in her throat and that was FREAKING ME OUT! Her process to recovery is SLOW but still on a rise. SMH I cry everyday.. I have so much support around me but it's weird not hearing her voice or when i do go see her and when i do hear it, it's really low and she's most likely talking out the side of her neck.. Goodness, Lord knows i've been through All of this x's 12 with my Dad. Please see my mother through. I need her..

*UPDATE*

Yes I'm still alive and well!

As of yesterday, My mother had MAJOR surgery and shes doing fine! and yes I did shout it out! She had a "Hysterectomy" and her uterus weighed in at 12 pounds.. Eek, she also had fibroids and they removed those too. I just feel so blessed because she had so much prayer going up down and around. For two whole years shes been searching for a doctor to perform this surgical duty and every doctor in the DMV turned her away. We had a slight scare yesterday because the doctor called us in the conference room.. But they had the wrong family, thank GOD! However, Mom was still in surgery at the time and they kept telling usw that she'd be out in an hour, then they said another hour so we were just on pens and needles in the hospital lobby waiting. I was terrified because I just lost my Dad and I probably wouldnt have been able to live without my Mom.. But they Doctor assured us that she did a great job in surgery, her breathing was good and she had no cloting. She did lose 5 guarts of blood though and they gave her 3 quarts back. But with the uterus being as big as it was, the doctor said that she didnt need some of that blood anymore so the 3 quarts that she got back definitely leveled out. Now she's in her our room at George Washington Hospital Center resting so she can come home to her family. :o). To think a month ago our family was about to be broken up because my stepdad wasnt happy with my mom anymore was Heart breaking.. But that too shall past. Im glad that they were able to talk and clear up problems that they were having within themselves and also with eachother. Taking time away from everything was definitely needed. I've been stressing A LOT lately but I feel more at ease with everything now. Sometimes things have to be bad before it gets better. Now all I need for is my mom to come home and have a speedy recovery. I love her..

Peace & Blessings <3

I'm makin it.

So i've been working at this camp for about 2 weeks and 3 days now and it's bitter sweet. The kids LOVE me.. One little boy loves me a little too much! He's fruity as HELL!! but his sarcasm will be the death of me, LOL. Anywho, we go on trips everyday! So far we've been to the "Newseum, pool(x3), hiking, to the park and skating. The newseum was the best to me, felt like home :0). The kids weren't as happy as me though, which i knew they wouldnt have been. They felt like it was a waste of time but I had to put them on to the game and school them.

I work with kids 10 & 11 and the girls give me more of a hard time then the boys do. This one little girl named Chere' ALWAYS has an attitude. but lately shes been coming around and shes more friendly and playful with me which is cool. but in two weeks i've had more problems with these little girls then i've had problems with girls in general. I definitely have patience though, if i didnt i would have probably told them where they could go. It's so much he say she say and back and forth. Reminds me of highschool.. Btw, when i first started they were like.. "what camp are you from?" LOL. I was like i'm a camp counselor sweets then they started laughing. I know i'm small but DANG! haha..

Now that my mom has this new computer I will be blogging here until I get my new laptop then i'll start my new blog called "Messages From a Daughter". I'm so excited to start it. Hopefully it will be up by the end of July.

Speaking of that, I really miss my Dad. It sucks that hes buried so far away from me. I mean Holly Hill, SC dad? really? haha I have to travel that far away to come and visit you. :o( Well when I think about it, its a good thing because i'll be reunited with my other side of the family and I know thats what you wanted all this time. I often look at you in my phone as you laid in peace in your casket on the 22nd of may.. You were a handsome YOUNG man lol. Yes I'm throwing shots because you'll be 62 in about 13 days. The 27th is approching fast and im unsure of what to get you. You were always a picky person just like me. Everything for us had to be a certain way or it wasnt right lol. I Miss You, A lot. The last past year has been rough but i cherished the time we spent together. I still have your wash cloth. I havent washed it yet. Your scent keeps me sane when im feeling down and out. Its hard to believe youve been gone for two months.. -sighs. R.I.P Peter Bradley Jr. I love you and always will.

I always fall for your type

My dear
It’s unclear why I fall for you
I’d rather bid farewell at the sight of you
Yet my attraction is affection and deeper than words allow
I try to explain what I can no longer attain
But motion is the pen to my pad
So as I move closer and learn how to make you smile
Learning all the passions the drive you so wild
Once I learn your likes
Your dislikes and the things you love
I make you fall in love with me
But your type never lasts
Always fading just as quickly as the sun may rise
And gone before the setting of my eyes
Your type is so lovely
So quiet yet speaking loudly to my heart
Your type is so beautiful
Glaring at you is comparable to….
I don’t even know anymore
No matter what your wearing
You always look so right
I fell for you in the daytime
And cried about losing you at night
Our kisses my Mr. were lovely and your lip I loved to bite
I don’t know why it is
I always fall for your type

missing my Dad and missing the love of my life. i thought things would be easier without the two because of the lack of stress but i'm wishing apon a star that things will be different sooner than later

Quotes. :o)

We come to love not by finding the perfect person.
But by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. 

 Waiting for true love to come. Hoping that i will find the one But while i wait for that time to be, I will remain pure for all to see... For my Lord and Savior would want it that way I will not in the least bit stray Until I make my vow one day To love, cherish, and obey.

#Random

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious :o) old memories.

I've never had this feeling before, well ofcourse until a couple of months ago. So nobody I mean nobody has my heart more then my love. It's hard to find someone whose going to be there for you through thick and thin. It's like blah! Or that's how I feel anyway. I was the type of girl that it something bad happened in my relationship I would run to other guys for comfort, meaning conversation. Which was the wrong thing to do. Anywho, I'm in a bad place right now. Lot of stuff going on and I don't feel the need to run to anyother guy like I use to. I just want my love back. Even though I messed things up real bad. It's lik you know what you have until it's gone... And that's what I'm feeling. I want to be selfish and keep him all to myself. But that's dead... This was just a quick ramble.

Written from my iPhone

Thinking of love.

Two souls, but with a single thought. Two hearts that beat as one. we are whole. Or I wish

Laughing at love

I’ll laugh at love
As if to hide my fears
Though it truly knows who I am
As a child I sit
In a dark room with no love to play with
I would love to go outside and toil
Simply to run in the midnight air
But pain seems to be the rainiest this day
And shinning suns refuse to allow me their shadow
Though I am all too familiar with love
Guarantees a smile
Never disapproving ones heart
Never allowing for wrongful passage
Yet I have slipped into an opposing direction
One filled with numbness
An emptied obsession
One telling all too well how lonely one truly is
So I make mockery of what I do not possess
And secretly wish upon a star
One filled with another’s heart
Fulfilling all that I desire
In my regret I shall not cry
I shall just laugh at love

Hardly making it.

In not so many words, I need you! I've never been one to be able to express myself clearly but here's what I'm feeling.
Well what's on my mind.


This poem is entitled: Simple

Emotions are simple notions
Dead flowers for a dying heart
Devotion written off like simple waves in an ocean
love so torn apart
What is it to be inlove?
Or to have loved once upon a time
Do the memories of then change
are they hidden in the quaintest of rhymes?
Does passion exceed ones limitations
Does it allow for one to be so foolish?
The lover says
I would Gladly fall to my end
if only to see you at the bottom
Yet life just as death
Is so endless
But we fall in love as fools do
Wishing only to see a lovers face after all this torment
Emotions
Such simple notions they are
Able to create flaw
And give pain so invisible
Dead flowers for this dying heart
Ones once so pink and yellow
So purple and blue
No black and fading
Just as love does to you.

Written from my iPhone

What to do, without you.

Without your guidance and protection whose gonna lead me in the right direction?

Fck, love.

Fuck love
Fuck the horse it road in on
Fuck the road it travelled
And fuck the guy that made the road
See I foresaw him leaving
And he foresaw me pleading
So as bleeding hearts poor out
he already knows what I am saying
Fuck the thought that I couldn’t be without you
Thinking that you’re all that’s on my mind at 12:30... AM

Even though it’s true
Fuck the fact that you’re irreplaceable
Because others are so chase-able
And I would rather run then see your love flee
I would rather fall then to see you flying without me
Fuck love and all its extremities
Like passion
And lustful thoughts
And LOVE
Fuck it in its entirety
The whole thing Just for saying F me.

I love you.. and that's REAL