Stressing, horribly..

Not doing good at all. Moms been in the hospital for 12 WHOLE DAYS! PLus she had a second surgery if I haven't already mentioned.. Shes delusional and it scares me. From monday 'til wednesday she had tubes in her throat and that was FREAKING ME OUT! Her process to recovery is SLOW but still on a rise. SMH I cry everyday.. I have so much support around me but it's weird not hearing her voice or when i do go see her and when i do hear it, it's really low and she's most likely talking out the side of her neck.. Goodness, Lord knows i've been through All of this x's 12 with my Dad. Please see my mother through. I need her..

*UPDATE*

Yes I'm still alive and well!

As of yesterday, My mother had MAJOR surgery and shes doing fine! and yes I did shout it out! She had a "Hysterectomy" and her uterus weighed in at 12 pounds.. Eek, she also had fibroids and they removed those too. I just feel so blessed because she had so much prayer going up down and around. For two whole years shes been searching for a doctor to perform this surgical duty and every doctor in the DMV turned her away. We had a slight scare yesterday because the doctor called us in the conference room.. But they had the wrong family, thank GOD! However, Mom was still in surgery at the time and they kept telling usw that she'd be out in an hour, then they said another hour so we were just on pens and needles in the hospital lobby waiting. I was terrified because I just lost my Dad and I probably wouldnt have been able to live without my Mom.. But they Doctor assured us that she did a great job in surgery, her breathing was good and she had no cloting. She did lose 5 guarts of blood though and they gave her 3 quarts back. But with the uterus being as big as it was, the doctor said that she didnt need some of that blood anymore so the 3 quarts that she got back definitely leveled out. Now she's in her our room at George Washington Hospital Center resting so she can come home to her family. :o). To think a month ago our family was about to be broken up because my stepdad wasnt happy with my mom anymore was Heart breaking.. But that too shall past. Im glad that they were able to talk and clear up problems that they were having within themselves and also with eachother. Taking time away from everything was definitely needed. I've been stressing A LOT lately but I feel more at ease with everything now. Sometimes things have to be bad before it gets better. Now all I need for is my mom to come home and have a speedy recovery. I love her..

Peace & Blessings <3

I'm makin it.

So i've been working at this camp for about 2 weeks and 3 days now and it's bitter sweet. The kids LOVE me.. One little boy loves me a little too much! He's fruity as HELL!! but his sarcasm will be the death of me, LOL. Anywho, we go on trips everyday! So far we've been to the "Newseum, pool(x3), hiking, to the park and skating. The newseum was the best to me, felt like home :0). The kids weren't as happy as me though, which i knew they wouldnt have been. They felt like it was a waste of time but I had to put them on to the game and school them.

I work with kids 10 & 11 and the girls give me more of a hard time then the boys do. This one little girl named Chere' ALWAYS has an attitude. but lately shes been coming around and shes more friendly and playful with me which is cool. but in two weeks i've had more problems with these little girls then i've had problems with girls in general. I definitely have patience though, if i didnt i would have probably told them where they could go. It's so much he say she say and back and forth. Reminds me of highschool.. Btw, when i first started they were like.. "what camp are you from?" LOL. I was like i'm a camp counselor sweets then they started laughing. I know i'm small but DANG! haha..

Now that my mom has this new computer I will be blogging here until I get my new laptop then i'll start my new blog called "Messages From a Daughter". I'm so excited to start it. Hopefully it will be up by the end of July.

Speaking of that, I really miss my Dad. It sucks that hes buried so far away from me. I mean Holly Hill, SC dad? really? haha I have to travel that far away to come and visit you. :o( Well when I think about it, its a good thing because i'll be reunited with my other side of the family and I know thats what you wanted all this time. I often look at you in my phone as you laid in peace in your casket on the 22nd of may.. You were a handsome YOUNG man lol. Yes I'm throwing shots because you'll be 62 in about 13 days. The 27th is approching fast and im unsure of what to get you. You were always a picky person just like me. Everything for us had to be a certain way or it wasnt right lol. I Miss You, A lot. The last past year has been rough but i cherished the time we spent together. I still have your wash cloth. I havent washed it yet. Your scent keeps me sane when im feeling down and out. Its hard to believe youve been gone for two months.. -sighs. R.I.P Peter Bradley Jr. I love you and always will.

I always fall for your type

My dear
It’s unclear why I fall for you
I’d rather bid farewell at the sight of you
Yet my attraction is affection and deeper than words allow
I try to explain what I can no longer attain
But motion is the pen to my pad
So as I move closer and learn how to make you smile
Learning all the passions the drive you so wild
Once I learn your likes
Your dislikes and the things you love
I make you fall in love with me
But your type never lasts
Always fading just as quickly as the sun may rise
And gone before the setting of my eyes
Your type is so lovely
So quiet yet speaking loudly to my heart
Your type is so beautiful
Glaring at you is comparable to….
I don’t even know anymore
No matter what your wearing
You always look so right
I fell for you in the daytime
And cried about losing you at night
Our kisses my Mr. were lovely and your lip I loved to bite
I don’t know why it is
I always fall for your type

missing my Dad and missing the love of my life. i thought things would be easier without the two because of the lack of stress but i'm wishing apon a star that things will be different sooner than later

Quotes. :o)

We come to love not by finding the perfect person.
But by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. 

 Waiting for true love to come. Hoping that i will find the one But while i wait for that time to be, I will remain pure for all to see... For my Lord and Savior would want it that way I will not in the least bit stray Until I make my vow one day To love, cherish, and obey.

#Random

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious :o) old memories.

I've never had this feeling before, well ofcourse until a couple of months ago. So nobody I mean nobody has my heart more then my love. It's hard to find someone whose going to be there for you through thick and thin. It's like blah! Or that's how I feel anyway. I was the type of girl that it something bad happened in my relationship I would run to other guys for comfort, meaning conversation. Which was the wrong thing to do. Anywho, I'm in a bad place right now. Lot of stuff going on and I don't feel the need to run to anyother guy like I use to. I just want my love back. Even though I messed things up real bad. It's lik you know what you have until it's gone... And that's what I'm feeling. I want to be selfish and keep him all to myself. But that's dead... This was just a quick ramble.

Written from my iPhone

Thinking of love.

Two souls, but with a single thought. Two hearts that beat as one. we are whole. Or I wish

Laughing at love

I’ll laugh at love
As if to hide my fears
Though it truly knows who I am
As a child I sit
In a dark room with no love to play with
I would love to go outside and toil
Simply to run in the midnight air
But pain seems to be the rainiest this day
And shinning suns refuse to allow me their shadow
Though I am all too familiar with love
Guarantees a smile
Never disapproving ones heart
Never allowing for wrongful passage
Yet I have slipped into an opposing direction
One filled with numbness
An emptied obsession
One telling all too well how lonely one truly is
So I make mockery of what I do not possess
And secretly wish upon a star
One filled with another’s heart
Fulfilling all that I desire
In my regret I shall not cry
I shall just laugh at love

Hardly making it.

In not so many words, I need you! I've never been one to be able to express myself clearly but here's what I'm feeling.
Well what's on my mind.


This poem is entitled: Simple

Emotions are simple notions
Dead flowers for a dying heart
Devotion written off like simple waves in an ocean
love so torn apart
What is it to be inlove?
Or to have loved once upon a time
Do the memories of then change
are they hidden in the quaintest of rhymes?
Does passion exceed ones limitations
Does it allow for one to be so foolish?
The lover says
I would Gladly fall to my end
if only to see you at the bottom
Yet life just as death
Is so endless
But we fall in love as fools do
Wishing only to see a lovers face after all this torment
Emotions
Such simple notions they are
Able to create flaw
And give pain so invisible
Dead flowers for this dying heart
Ones once so pink and yellow
So purple and blue
No black and fading
Just as love does to you.

Written from my iPhone

What to do, without you.

Without your guidance and protection whose gonna lead me in the right direction?

Fck, love.

Fuck love
Fuck the horse it road in on
Fuck the road it travelled
And fuck the guy that made the road
See I foresaw him leaving
And he foresaw me pleading
So as bleeding hearts poor out
he already knows what I am saying
Fuck the thought that I couldn’t be without you
Thinking that you’re all that’s on my mind at 12:30... AM

Even though it’s true
Fuck the fact that you’re irreplaceable
Because others are so chase-able
And I would rather run then see your love flee
I would rather fall then to see you flying without me
Fuck love and all its extremities
Like passion
And lustful thoughts
And LOVE
Fuck it in its entirety
The whole thing Just for saying F me.

I love you.. and that's REAL

Troof.com

If you truely love your Wife you should value her opinion. - Prince Hakeem